Humor is an essential part of family life. It brings everyone closer and creates unforgettable memories. In this article, we’ve compiled a collection of 250+ family-friendly jokes and puns that will have everyone in your household laughing out loud.
From dad jokes to one-liners, from puns to knock-knock jokes, we’ve got something for everyone. So, gather your family and get ready to share some laughs!
Bringing The Funny To ‘Family’ Gatherings: Our Editor’s Top Puns & Jokes Picks
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because it felt crummy.
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because they are too transparent.
- Why did the fisherman put peanut butter into the sea? To go with the jellyfish.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks!
Laugh Out Loud With These Hilarious ‘Funny Family’ One-Liner Jokes
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago. I now live in constant fear.
- Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
- What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved.
- Why do cows have hooves instead of feet? Because they lactose.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
- I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.
- Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- Did you hear about the kidnapping at the playground? They woke up.
- Why do seagulls fly over the ocean? Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels.
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
- How do trees access the internet? They log on.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
- Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why did the belt go to jail? It held up a pair of pants.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I couldn’t figure out how to put my seatbelt on, then it clicked.
Get Ready To ROFL With These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns About Family!
- Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? Because they always peak!
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.
- What did one plate say to the other plate? Lunch is on me.
- Why did the kid cross the playground? To get to the other slide.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon? Because she will let it go.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
Dad Jokes About ‘Family’: Making Memories And Laughing Till It Hurts
- What’s brown and sticky? A stick.
- Why don’t some fish play piano? Because you can’t tuna fish.
- How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.
- Why don’t crabs give to charity? Because they’re shellfish.
- What did the grape do when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
- Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels.
- Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
- How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What do you get if you cross a cat with a dark horse? Kitty Perry.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- What did the big flower say to the little flower? Hey, bud!
- Why are ghosts bad at lying? Because they are too transparent.
- What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.
August With These Hilarious Jokes And Puns!
Funny And Fabulous: Family Puns & Jokes For Kids To Crack Up The Whole Clan!
- Why did the golfer bring extra pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house? The living room.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique up on it.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why did the chicken join a band? Because it had the drumsticks.
- Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the udder side.
- What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer.
- What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet? Supplies!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
- What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop.
- Why did the banana go to the doctor? It wasn’t peeling well.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired.
- How do you make a tissue dance? Put a little boogie in it!
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
Bringing The Belly Laughs: Hilarious And Heartwarming Funny Quotes About Family
- “Family is not an important thing. It’s everything.” – Michael J. Fox
- “Laughter is an instant vacation.” – Milton Berle
- “Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.” – George Burns
- “The advantage of growing up with siblings is that you become very good at fractions.” – Robert Brault
- “Families are like fudge – mostly sweet, with a few nuts.” – Anonymous
- “The family is one of nature’s masterpieces.” – George Santayana
- “Having a family is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.” – Martin Mull
- “A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an occasional animal, and the common cold.” – Ogden Nash
- “A family’s love is the best form of healing.” – Anonymous
- “Family: where life begins and love never ends.” – Anonymous
- “Family is like music, some high notes, some low notes, but always a beautiful song.” – Anonymous
- “The best thing about having a sister was that I always had a friend.” – Cali Rae Turner
- “In time of test, family is best.” – Burmese Proverb
- “The only rock I know that stays steady, the only institution I know that works, is the family.” – Lee Iacocca
- “Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a , call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” – Jane Howard
- “My family is my life, and everything else comes second as far as what’s important to me.” – Michael Imperioli
- “Family means no one gets left behind or forgotten.” – David Ogden Stiers
- “In family life, love is the oil that eases friction, the cement that binds closer together, and the music that brings harmony.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
- “What can you do to promote world peace? Go home and love your family.” – Mother Teresa
- “You don’t choose your family. They are God’s gift to you, as you are to them.” – Desmond Tutu
- “Family is the most important thing in the world.” – Princess Diana
- “The love of a family is life’s greatest blessing.” – Anonymous
- “Families are the compass that guides us. They are the inspiration to reach great heights, and our comfort when we occasionally falter.” – Brad Henry
- “A happy family is but an earlier heaven.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “Other things may change us, but we start and end with the family.” – Anthony Brandt
Laughter Is The Glue That Holds A ‘Family’ Together – Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings About ‘Family’
- “Blood is thicker than water, but laughter is the glue.”
- “A family that laughs together, stays together.”
- “Home is where the humor is.”
- “A joyful family is the best tonic.”
- “Family: the gift that lasts forever.”
- “Laughter is brightest in the place where the food is.” – Irish Proverb
- “The family that plays together, stays together.”
- “A family in harmony will prosper in everything.”
- “One of the oldest human needs is having someone to wonder where you are when you don’t come home at night.” – Margaret Mead
- “Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face.” – Victor Hugo
- “If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.” – George Bernard Shaw
- “A family’s laughter is the greatest sound in the world.”
- “The laughter of a child is the light of a house.”
- “Family: where laughter never ends.”
- “Laughter and love are the secrets of a happy family.”
- “The family that laughs together lasts together.”
- “A family with laughter is a family with love.”
- “Laughter is timeless, imagination has no age, and dreams are forever.” – Walt Disney
- “Family: a little bit of shocking, a little bit of loud, and a whole lot of love.”
- “A house full of laughter is a house full of love.”
- “Family is the heart of a home, and laughter is its heartbeat.”
- “In every conceivable manner, the family is the link to our past, bridge to our future.” – Alex Haley
- “Where there is family, there is love.”
- “A family’s laughter is like music to the soul.”
- “The love in our family flows strong and deep, leaving us memories to treasure and keep.”
Laugh it off Friends Jokes & Puns for a Good Time
Family Fun: Double The Entendres, Twice The Puns
- What’s the best way to watch a fly-fishing tournament? Live stream.
- What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog? Frostbite.
- What do you call a funny mountain? Hill-arious.
- Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
- Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack each other up.
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired!
- What do you call a snowman with a six-pack? An abdominal snowman.
- Why did the scarecrow become a neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
- What do you call a pile of cats? A meowtain.
- How do you organize a space party? You planet.
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
- How do you catch a squirrel? Climb a tree and act like a nut.
- Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? Because they always peak.
- What kind of tree fits in your hand? Apalm tree!
- Why did the stadium get hot after the game? All of the fans left.
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
- Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
- How does a scientist freshen her breath? With experi-mints.
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
- Why don’t you ever see elephants hiding in trees? Because they’re so good at it.
Family: The Branches Of Our Hilarious Recursive Puns Tree
- Why did the tree go to the dentist? To get a root canal.
- Why don’t trees like riddles? They get stumped.
- What did the big tree say to the little tree? Leaf me alone!
- How do trees access the internet? They log in.
- Why was the tree always late? It couldn’t stop branching out.
- Why did the tree get a job? To branch out.
- What did the tree wear to the pool party? Swimming trunks.
- Why did the tree bring a suitcase? Because it was going to a branch office.
- What do you get when you cross a tree with an iPad? A pine-apple.
- Why did the tree go to school? To improve its roots.
- What do you call a funny tree? A comedi-tree.
- Why did the tree get in trouble? It was caught rooting around.
- What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!
- How does a tree get ready for a date? It spruces up.
- Why did the tree take a nap? To get some shade.
- Why did the tree feel lonely? It was pining for attention.
- How do you catch a unique tree? Unique up on it.
- What type of tree fits in your hand? A palm tree.
- What did the tree do when the bank closed? It started its own branch.
- Why don’t trees like computers? They get logged out.
- What did the tree say to the lumberjack? I’m falling for you!
- Why did the tree bring sunscreen? To protect its bark.
- What kind of tree can you hold in your hand? A palm tree.
- Why did the tree stay indoors? It didn’t want to get chopped.
- Why do trees hate tests? They always get stumped.
Family Fun: Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes To Keep Everyone Laughing!
- Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Canoe.
Canoe who?
Canoe help me with my homework? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and answer the door! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and I miss you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you want to go out tonight? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s raining! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Snow.
Snow who?
Snow use, the joke is over. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Annie.
Annie who?
Annie way you can let me in? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Howard.
Howard who?
Howard you like to be outside in the rain? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ice cream.
Ice cream who?
Ice cream every time I see a ghost! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Ben.
Ben who?
Ben knocking so long, let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Yah.
Yah who?
No, thanks, I prefer Google. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Figs.
Figs who?
Figs the doorbell, it’s broken! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, open up! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cows go.
Cows go who?
No, cows go moo! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Orange.
Orange who?
Orange you glad I didn’t say banana? - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Doughnut.
Doughnut who?
Doughnut forget to let me in! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Broken pencil.
Broken pencil who?
Never mind, it’s pointless. - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Butter.
Butter who?
Butter let me in or I’ll freeze! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you and miss you! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up and open the door! - Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Icy.
Icy who?
Icy you through the window!
Conclusion
Laughter is a universal language that brings families closer together. Whether it’s through a clever pun, a funny one-liner, or a classic knock-knock joke, humor can brighten any day and create lasting memories.
Here are the top 250+ jokes and puns from our collection that are sure to make your family laugh out loud:
