140+ Funny Football Puns, Jokes And One-Liners I 2024

Introduction

Football, often referred to as “the beautiful game,” has a rich history filled with memorable moments, legendary players, and passionate fans. Alongside the action on the field, there’s also a lighter side to football, where humor and wit come into play. From clever puns to witty one-liners, football jokes have the power to bring smiles to the faces of fans around the world.

In this comprehensive guide, we’ll explore 140+ funny football puns, jokes, and one-liners that are sure to score big laughs. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or a casual observer, there’s something here for everyone to enjoy.

Top  Football Puns

• “Why was the football coach always angry? Because he had too many false starts.
• What do you call a chicken crossing the road at a football game? Poultry in motion.
• Why did the football player go to jail? Because he was caught passing gas.
• How do footballers stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.

• Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• What do you call a footballer who doesn’t take a shower? Foul play.
• Why was the football team always in trouble? Because they were always offside.
• What’s a footballer’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.
• Why don’t footballers like math? Because they prefer to work with their feet, not their brains.
• What do you call a football player who’s been in a car accident? A crash-tackler.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.
• What do you call a fantasy football league with only dentists? The Tooth Fairies.
• How do fantasy football players stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for warmth.
• What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite type of music? Punt rock.
• What do you call a fantasy football team that always loses? The Draft Dodgers.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.
• What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite holiday? Draft Day.

• Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers.
• What do you call a football player who dances? A ballerina.
• Why did the football player sit on the sideline and cry? Because he hurt his tackles.
• How do footballers stay in touch? They kick each other.
• What do footballers do when they’re on vacation? They tackle relaxation.
• What’s a footballer’s favorite type of cheese? Roqueforty.
• Why don’t footballers like to eat before a game? Because they don’t want to be called “fumble-ina.”
• What’s a footballer’s favorite dessert? Quarter-back lava cake.

Fantasy Football Puns

• Why was the football coach always angry? Because he had too many false starts.”
• “What do you call a chicken crossing the road at a football game? Poultry in motion.”
• “Why did the football player go to jail? Because he was caught passing gas.”
• “How do footballers stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans.”
• “Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.”
• “What do you call a footballer who doesn’t take a shower? Foul play.”
• “Why was the football team always in trouble? Because they were always offside.”
• “What’s a footballer’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.”

• “Why don’t footballers like math? Because they prefer to work with their feet, not their brains.”
• “What do you call a football player who’s been in a car accident? A crash-tackler.”
• “Why did the fantasy football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.”
• “What do you call a fantasy football league with only dentists? The Tooth Fairies.”
• “How do fantasy football players stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for warmth.”
• “What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite type of music? Punk rock.”
• “Why did the fantasy football team always in trouble? Because they kept drafting troublemakers.”
• “What do you call a fantasy football team that always loses? The Draft Dodgers.”
• “Why did the fantasy football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.”
• “How do fantasy footballers communicate? They use a quarterback signal.”
• “What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite holiday? Draft Day.”
• “Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers.”
• “What do you call a football player who dances? A ballerina.”
• “Why did the football player sit on the sideline and cry? Because he hurt his tackles.”
• “How do footballers stay in touch? They kick each other.”

• “What do footballers do when they’re on vacation? They tackle relaxation.”
• “Why was the football pitch always wet? Because the players kept dribbling.”
• “Why don’t footballers like to eat before a game? Because they don’t want to be called ‘fumble-ina.'”
• “What’s a footballer’s favorite dessert? Quarter-back lava cake.”
• “Why did the football player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.”

Funny Football Puns

• Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers.
• What do you call a football player who dances? A ballerina.

• Why did the football player sit on the sideline and cry? Because he hurt his tackles.
• How do footballers stay in touch? They kick each other.
• What do footballers do when they’re on vacation? They tackle relaxation.
• Why was the football pitch always wet? Because the players kept dribbling.
• Why don’t footballers like to eat before a game? Because they don’t want to be called “fumble-ina.”
• What’s a footballer’s favorite dessert? Quarter-back lava cake.
• Why did the football player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
• What do you call a football player who doesn’t take a shower? Foul play.
• Why did the football player go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• What’s a footballer’s favorite drink? Penal-tea.
• Why don’t footballers like math? Because they prefer to work with their feet, not their brains.
• What do you call a football player who’s been in a car accident? A crash-tackler.Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• What do you call a football player’s favorite snack? Tackle chips.
• Why did the football team go to the beach? To work on their sand tackles.
• What’s a football player’s favorite movie? Field of Goals.
• Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? To reach new heights in tackles.
• What do you call a football player’s pet? A touchdown retriever.
• Why did the football player bring a shovel to the game? To bury the competition.
• What’s a football player’s favorite subject in school? Kick-ology.

• Why did the football player break up with his girlfriend? She kept dropping the ball.
• What’s a football player’s favorite place to shop? The End Zone Store.
• Why did the football team go to the amusement park? To ride the tackle roller coaster.
• What do you call a football player’s breakfast? Snap, crackle, and pop passes.
• Why did the football player bring a mirror to the game? To show the other team their reflection in defeat.
• What’s a football player’s favorite type of pasta? Interception.
• Why did the football player become a chef? Because he wanted to tackle new recipes.
• What’s a footballer’s favorite type of music? Punt rock.
• Why was the football team always in trouble? Because they were always off-sides.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.
• How do fantasy footballers communicate? They use a quarterback signal.
• What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite holiday? Draft Day.
• Why did the football player apply for a job at the orange juice factory? Because he wanted to concentrate on his tackles.

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Sexual Football Puns

• Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.
• What do you call a football player who scores a lot? A goal-getter.
• Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers.
• How do footballers stay in touch? They kick each other.
• What do you call a football player who dances? A ballerina.
• Why did the football player sit on the sideline and cry? Because he hurt his tackles.
• What’s a footballer’s favorite position? Up front.

• Why do footballers make good lovers? Because they know how to score.
• What do you call a football player’s romantic partner? Their goal mate.
• Why did the football player get kicked out of the library? Because he was checking out too many goals.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.
• What do you call a fantasy football league with only dentists? The Tooth Fairies.
• Why did the fantasy football team go to the bank? To get their quarterback.
• How do fantasy football players stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for warmth.
• Why was the fantasy football team always in trouble? Because they kept drafting troublemakers.
• What do you call a fantasy football team that always loses? The Draft Dodgers.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.
• How do fantasy footballers communicate? They use a quarterback signal.
• Why did the football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.
• What do you call a football player who scores a lot? A goal-getter.
• Why did the football team go to the bakery? To get some turnovers.
• How do footballers stay in touch? They kick each other.
• What do you call a football player who dances? A ballerina.
• Why did the football player sit on the sideline and cry? Because he hurt his tackles.

• What’s a footballer’s favorite position? Up front.
• Why do footballers make good lovers? Because they know how to score.
• What do you call a football player’s romantic partner? Their goal mate.
• Why did the football player get kicked out of the library? Because he was checking out too many goals

Dirty Football Puns

• Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.
• How do footballers stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for warmth.

• What do you call a football player who’s been in a car accident? A crash-tackler.
• Why was the football team always in trouble? Because they were always offside.
• Why did the football coach go to the bank? To get his quarterback.
• Why did the football player bring string to the game? So he could tie the score.
• What do you call a football player who doesn’t take a shower? Foul play.
• Why was the football pitch always wet? Because the players kept dribbling.
• Why did the fantasy football player bring a ladder to the game? He heard the quarterback was playing on a higher level.
• What do you call a fantasy football league with only dentists? The Tooth Fairies.
• How do fantasy football players stay warm during the winter? They huddle together for warmth.
• Why was the fantasy football team always in trouble? Because they kept drafting troublemakers.
• What do you call a fantasy football team that always loses? The Draft Dodgers.
• How do fantasy footballers communicate? They use a quarterback signal.
• Why did the football player bring a pencil to the game? To erase any mistakes.
• What’s a fantasy footballer’s favorite holiday? Draft Day.
• What did the footballer do when he accidentally swallowed some coins? He called for the coach to give him some change.
• Why don’t footballers make good librarians? Because they always want to throw in the towel.
• Why was the football field always so crowded? Because all the fans wanted to get a kick out of it.
• What do you call a football player’s favorite dessert? Pass-ta.
• Why did the football player go to art school? He wanted to brush up on his skills.
• How do footballers apologize? They say, “My bad, I made a tackle error.”
• What did the football coach say to the vending machine? “Give me my quarterback!”
• Why don’t football players ever tell secrets on the field? Because the grass has ears!
• What do you call a group of rabbits hopping backward? A receding hare-line, just like a football team in defense.
• Why did the football player go to the bank during the game? To get his quarterback a little extra interest.
• How do football players stay cool during a game? They stand near the fans!
• What’s a footballer’s favorite type of coffee? Penalty.

• Why did the football coach go to the flower shop? He needed a quarterback for his bouquet.
• What do you call a football player who’s always in a hurry? Rush-yards.
• Why did the football team go to the bakery? They heard they could get some good rolls there!
• How do football players stay focused? They keep their eye on the ball, even during halftime.
• What did the football say to the punter? “You really kick me out!”

Conclusion

In conclusion, football is not only a sport but also a source of humor and amusement. The world of football puns encompasses a wide range of topics, from the game itself to the players and beyond. Whether you’re a fan of the sport or just looking for a good laugh, there’s something for everyone in the realm of football jokes.

From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, football puns have the power to bring smiles to the faces of fans worldwide. Whether you’re discussing the game with friends, enjoying a tailgate party, or simply looking to lighten the mood, these puns are sure to score big laughs.

If you also love football, custom football-style patches are a fun way to combine your love of football puns and jokes with a personalized design. 

You can choose to design patterns and text on the custom patches, which can be football-related puns, jokes, or your favorite team logos, player images, etc. Such customized patches can not only be used as personal collections or decorations but can also be given as gifts to other football lovers. 

They can well express your passion for football and sense of humor, while also adding some fun and personality.