340+Drinking About Puns And Jokes One Liners Data Guide 2024

Introduction

Welcome to “Cheers To Laughter: 340+ About Drinking Jokes And Puns “! Whether you’re sharing a pint with friends or enjoying a quiet evening at home, a good laugh can always make the moment even better.

This collection brings together a variety of jokes and puns that celebrate the lighter side of drinking culture. From witty one-liners to clever wordplay, you’ll find humor that spans across different types of drinks and drinking situations.

So, grab your favorite beverage, relax, and get ready to raise your glass to some good-natured humor!

Unwind With A Glass Of Laughter: Drinking Puns & Jokes – Our Top Picks

• I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just in a committed relationship.
• Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my sham friends!
• Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot!

• I’m not old, I’m aged to perfection.
• Time flies when you’re having rum.
• Wine improves with age, I improve with wine.
• I’m a wine enthusiast. The more wine I drink, the more enthusiastic I get!
• I only drink on days that start with “T”. Tuesday, Thursday, today, and tomorrow!
• Beer: because nobody has ever made a great decision while drinking water.
• Alcohol! Because no great story started with someone eating a salad.
• In dog beers, I’ve only had one.
• I make pour decisions.
• I drink to make other people more interesting.
• Whiskey business is my kind of business.
• You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. – Wayne Gretzky (and me, at the bar)
• I’m not slurring my words, I’m speaking in cursive.
• My doctor says I need glasses. Wine glasses!
• I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.
• You’re the vodka to my tonic.
• Wine a bit, you’ll feel better.
• I’m in a relationship with vodka, we’re still on the rocks.
• A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
• I’m not drunk, I’m experiencing a gravity check.
• I’m not picky, I just have refined taste.
• Whiskey: because it’s never too early to learn to swear.
• I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday, and when it’s not.
• Life’s too short to drink cheap beer.
• Why do they call it a “beer belly”? Because “food storage unit” sounded too fancy.

Quench Your Thirst For Humor With These Drinking One-Liner Jokes!

• “I have a strict rule about drinking—I only do it when I’m awake.”
• “I drink to make other people interesting.”
• “Why limit happy to an hour?”
• “I don’t have a drinking problem, unless I’m out of wine.”
• “I told myself I should stop drinking, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who talks to himself.”
• “Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.”
• “Here’s to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life’s problems.”
• “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”
• “I drink beer on days that end in ‘y’.”
• “Alcohol doesn’t solve any problems, but then again, neither does milk.”
• “I’m not drinking too much, I’m just testing my tolerance.”
• “I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.”
• “I don’t need a mood ring. I have a whiskey.”
• “My doctor says I should watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.”
• “I drink to forget I drank too much.”
• “I have a wine for every occasion—breakfast, lunch, and dinner.”
• “In wine, there is wisdom. In beer, there is freedom. In water, there is bacteria.”
• “Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.”
• “I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m a heroic drinker.”
• “Time is never wasted when you’re wasted all the time.”
• “When life gives you lemons, find someone with vodka and have a party.”
• “You look like I need another drink.”
• “I don’t have a problem with alcohol, I have a problem without it.”
• “I don’t have a drinking problem. I drink, I get drunk, I fall down. No problem.”
• “I don’t need a mood ring. I have a whiskey.”

Wisdom With A Twist: Hilarious Proverbs & Witty Sayings On Drinking

• “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
• “I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.”
• “A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine.”
• “Drink triple, see double, act single.”
• “Whiskey is liquid sunshine.”
• “I drink to forget I drank.”
• “Alcohol, because no great story ever started with someone eating a salad.”
• “I only drink on days that end in ‘y’.”
• “Save water, drink champagne.”

• “You can’t buy happiness, but you can buy wine, and that’s kind of the same thing.”
• “Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”
• “Wine a little, laugh a lot.”
• “In wine, there is truth. In beer, there is strength. In water, there are germs.”
• “To beer or not to beer, that is a silly question.”
• “Life’s too short to drink cheap wine.”
• “I drink coffee because adulting is hard. I drink wine because adulting is harder.”
• “I make wine disappear. What’s your superpower?”
• “I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m a gravity tester.”
• “I’m on cloud wine.”
• “Tequila may not be the answer, but it’s worth a shot.”
• “It’s wine o’clock somewhere.”
• “I like my whiskey old and my women young.”
• “To beer, or not to beer: that is the question. Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous thirst…”
• “Drink like a fish, water isn’t good for you!”
• “Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 1862.”

Shirts off Puns & Jokes On Liner About !

Cheers To These Hilarious QnA Jokes & Puns About Drinking!

• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything.
• What’s the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.
• What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field.
• Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
• How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together.

• Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.
• What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta.
• Why did the golfer bring an extra pair of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear.
• Why did the scarecrow become a successful neurosurgeon? He was outstanding in his field.
• What do you call a group of musical whales? An orca-stra.
• What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.
• Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• Why don’t some couples go to the gym? Because some relationships don’t work out.
• Why did the coffee file a police report? It got mugged.
• What’s the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty.
• What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
• Why did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved.
• Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work.
• Why did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college? Bison.

Cheers To Hilariousness: Dad Jokes & Puns About Drinking

• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I told my computer I needed a break and now it won’t stop bringing me coffee.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
• Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one.
• My dog used to chase people on a bike a lot. It got so bad I had to take his bike away.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
• What do you call a fish wearing a bowtie? Sofishticated.
• I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands like everyone else.
• What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef.
• I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
• Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
• I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.

Cheers To Cleverness: Drinking Up Delicious Double Entendres Puns

• “Here’s to nights we won’t remember with friends we won’t forget.”
• “I drink coffee for your protection.”
• “Alcohol, because no great story starts with someone eating a salad.”
• “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”
• “My favorite exercise is a cross between a lunge and a crunch… I call it lunch.”
• “I may not be a Victoria’s Secret model, but I could pick one up and squat her.”
• “I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.”
• “I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s 7 years in a row now.”
• “I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode.”
• “I’ve been told I have a drinking problem. Apparently, I can’t find my glass.”
• “I can’t adult today. Please don’t make me adult.”
• “I’m on that new diet where you eat everything and pray for a miracle.”
• “I don’t need a hair stylist, my pillow gives me a new hairstyle every morning.”
• “I should have been born rich instead of beautiful.”
• “I have a fear of speed bumps but I’m slowly getting over it.”
• “I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.”
• “I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”
• “My favorite childhood memory is not paying bills.”
• “I can’t adult today. Tomorrow doesn’t look good either.”
• “I haven’t lost my mind, half of it just wandered off and the other half went looking for it.”
• “I ran into my ex today… then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.”
• “I’m sorry, I’m allergic to your BS.”
• “I used to be a people person but people ruined that for me.”
• “I tried to be normal once. Worst two minutes of my life.”
• “I’m not arguing, I’m just explaining why I’m right.”
• “I’m not bossy, I just know what you should be doing.”
• “I’m not shocking, my reality is just different than yours.”
• “I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.”
• “I’m not shy, I’m just holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.”

Bottoms Up For These Recursively Funny Puns About Drinking

• I used to think beer was bad for me, but now I drink it in moderation.
• Why did the wine keep asking questions? It was on a quest for knowledge.
• My wine collection is like my software — constantly evolving and improving with age.
• Tequila mockingbird: the best way to enjoy literature with a twist.
• Why did the grape win an award? It was outstanding in its vine.
• I like my whiskey like I like my software updates: neat and always improving.
• What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
• To the bartender, every problem looks like a beer waiting to happen.
• Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything, even vodka.
• Beer: the only beverage that’s a solution and a solvent.
• I accidentally drank food coloring. Now I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.
• What’s a wine’s favorite type of movie? A whodunit — they love a good mystery.
• I’m not an alcoholic; I’m a fermentation enthusiast.
• I once tried to write a book on whiskey, but it was hard to keep the spirits up.
• Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field of spirits.
• Drinking on weekends is a brew-tiful thing.

• How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it.
• My wine and I have a grape understanding.
• Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be hoppy.
• I used to be a bartender, but I had to quit because it was driving me to drink.
• I’m in a committed relationship with coffee, but sometimes we invite whiskey over.
• The first glass of wine is all about the food pairing; the second is all about not caring.
• What do you call a bear that drinks beer? A brewski bear.
• I tried to be a wine critic, but my taste buds were merlot to be desired.
• Beer: helping white guys dance since forever.
• What’s a pirate’s favorite drink? RRRRRum!
• I don’t have a drinking problem. I’m very good at it..
• Why don’t oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish.

Mixing Spirits With Sense: Drinking Juxtaposition Jokes

• “Why limit happy to an hour when you can have a whole bottle?”
• “I’m not an such as person with use disorde, I’m a drunk. Alcoholics go to meetings.”
• “I have mixed drinks about feelings.”
• “I drink coffee because I need it and wine because I deserve it.”
• “I’m not old, I’m aged to perfection like fine wine.”
• “In wine there’s wisdom, in beer there’s freedom, in water there’s bacteria.”
• “I’m a firm believer in the philosophy of a glass of wine in each hand.”
• “Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?”
• “I like to have a martini. Two at the very most. Three I’m under the table, four I’m under the host.”
• “I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t get a drink.”
• “I’m not drinking alone, I’m social distancing.”
• “I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my country music on repeat.”
• “I’m not as think as you drunk I am.”
• “I’ll stop drinking when they make a wine flavored water.”
• “I only drink on two occasions: when it’s my birthday and when it’s not.”
• “I’m not a heavy drinker, I’m just a thirsty thinker.”
• “I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already.”
• “I only drink alcohol on days that end in ‘y’.”
• “My doctor says I need glasses.”
• “In wine there’s wisdom, in beer there’s freedom, in water there’s bacteria.”
• “I’m a firm believer in the philosophy of a glass of wine in each hand.”
• “Why drink and drive when you can smoke and fly?”
• “I like to have a martini. Two at the very most. Three I’m under the table, four I’m under the host.”
• “I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t get a drink.”

Cheers To These Hilariously Mistaken ‘Drinking’ Malapropisms!

• “I’ll have a sloe grin instead of a slow gin.”
• “Let’s toast to the fine art of whining.”
• “He prefers vodka-downed instead of lockdowned.”
• “She ordered a mosquito instead of a mojito.”
• “Cheers to the guy who loves his malt shots over malt shops.”
• “They raised a glass to martinis with a twist of martinis.”
• “He’s into ale-storms, not hailstorms.”
• “She enjoys champagne to campaign.”
• “He’s sipping on bourbon instead of boredom.”
• “Cheers to the lady who asks for scotch tape instead of scotch.”
• “They’re all about brewski meetings, not brisk meetings.”
• “He’s a fan of whiskey sour, not risky sour.”
• “She prefers margarita weekends, not regret-a weekends.”
• “They’re all about beer and now, not bear and now.”
• “Cheers to those who love their gin in the ring instead of in the drink.”
• “He’s all about drinking a stiff rum.”
• “She’ll take tonic over comics any day.”
• “Cheers to those who love their rum-up instead of warm-up.”
• “He’s all about a cold beer instead of a hold beer.”
• “She prefers brandy made instead of ready-made.”
• “They enjoy cocktail a party instead of cocked tail.”
• “Cheers to those who love a beer instead of a cheer.”
• “She’s all about whiskey business instead of risky business.”
• “He enjoys brew instead of drew.”
• “She prefers cocktail a story instead of cocked tail.”
• “They enjoy a mug of coffee instead of a mug of beer.”
• “Cheers to those who love a vodka club instead of vodka club.”
• “He’s all about a tequila to put some pep in his step.”
• “She prefers rum to run instead of run to the nearest bar.”
• “Cheers to those who love a gin to go instead of to go.”

Tom Swifties Were Totally ‘Soda-Wonderful’ With Drinking!

• “This beer is so good,” Tom said thirstily.
• “I love whiskey neat,” Tom said neatly.
• “Pass me that wine,” Tom said grape-fully.
• “I can’t resist a good cocktail,” Tom said spiritedly.
• “Let’s toast to our success,” Tom said cheerfully.
• “I need a refill on this soda,” Tom said fizzily.
• “This coffee is too bitter,” Tom said darkly.
• “I prefer my tea with lemon,” Tom said zestfully.
• “Pass the champagne, please,” Tom said bubbly.
• “I could use a cold brew,” Tom said coldly.
• “The juice needs more sugar,” Tom said sweetly.
• “Hand me a straw for this smoothie,” Tom said smoothly.
• “This milkshake is too thick,” Tom said thickly.
• “I’ll have another shot,” Tom said sharply.
• “This cocktail is too strong,” Tom said weakly.
• “I’m in the mood for a tropical drink,” Tom said tropically.
• “Where’s my water bottle?” Tom said fluidly.
• “This vodka tastes like fire,” Tom said fiery.
• “The tea is too hot,” Tom said warmly.
• “I’ll take a sip of that,” Tom said sippingly.
• “This cider is too sweet,” Tom said bitterly.
• “Let’s order a round of shots,” Tom said shotly.
• “This mocktail is surprisingly good,” Tom said mockingly.
• “Pass me the strawberry daiquiri,” Tom said berry-ly.
• “I’m craving some lemonade,” Tom said sourly.
• “The martini needs more olives,” Tom said olively.
• “I’m trying this new craft beer,” Tom said craftily.
• “I’ll take a swig of that,” Tom said swiggingly.
• “This punch packs a punch,” Tom said punchily.
• “I prefer my hot chocolate with marshmallows,” Tom said marshmallow-ly.

Cheers To Cleverness: Spoonerisms About Sipping And Slurping

• Happy Plour instead of Pappy Hour
• Merry Bocktails instead of Berry Cocktails
• Brewed Heater instead of Heated Brew
• Coffee Mup instead of Moffee Cup
• Hot Teals instead of Tot Heels
• Cream Slout instead of Steam Clout
• Vodka Med instead of Modka Ved
• Tippy Sips instead of Sippy Tips
• Wine Spillar instead of Spine Willar
• Beer Hottle instead of Hear Bottle
• Cider Wup instead of Wider Cup
• Lime Wight instead of Time Light
• Gin and Jic instead of Jin and Gick
• Whiskey Pheels instead of Piskey Wheels
• Cocktail Shaker instead of Shocktail Caker
• Champagne Slute instead of Sampagne Clute
• Rum Dunner instead of Dum Runner
• Martini Shix instead of Shartini Mix
• Sangria Flake instead of Fangria Slake
• Brandy Bettle instead of Bandy Bettle
• Mocktail Focker instead of Focktail Mocker
• Tequila Bunrise instead of Bequila Tunrise
• Screwdriver Runk instead of Ruckdriver Swin
• Moscow Wule instead of Woscow Mule
• Paloma Gin instead of Goloma Pin
• Mint Julep instead of Jint Mulep
• Negroni Roll instead of Rolgroni Noll
• Bellini Smush instead of Sellini Bmush
• Zombie Brain instead of Bombie Zrain
• Sazerac Rye instead of Rayzac Sye

Sip, Sip, Hooray!: Knock-Knock Jokes About Drinking With Friends

• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Brew.
  • Brew who?
  • Brew are you ready to toast the night away?
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Cocktail.
  • Cocktail who?
  • Cocktail me when you’re ready to cheers!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Vodka.
  • Vodka who?
  • Vodka great idea to have a party!

• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Champagne.
  • Champagne who?
  • Champagne is always the answer to a celebration!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Tequila.
  • Tequila who?
  • Tequila sunrise, anyone?
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Whiskey.
  • Whiskey who?
  • Whiskey are we waiting for? Let’s drink!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Margarita.
  • Margarita who?
  • Margarita be a fun night with you!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Beer.
  • Beer who?
  • Beer’s to good times with great friends!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Wine.
  • Wine who?
  • Wine not relax and enjoy a glass?
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Martini.
  • Martini who?
  • Martini your glass is empty!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Cider.
  • Cider who?
  • Cider-ella wants to stay out late tonight!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Rum.
  • Rum who?
  • Rum away with me to the nearest bar!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Sangria.
  • Sangria who?
  • Sangria is perfect for summer nights!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Scotch.
  • Scotch who?
  • Scotch you later, after a few more rounds!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Gin.
  • Gin who?
  • Gingle all the way to happy hour!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Bourbon.
  • Bourbon who?
  • Bourbon and a cigar, anyone?
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Sake.
  • Sake who?
  • Sake to good friends and even better times!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Absinthe.
  • Absinthe who?
  • Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Moonshine.
  • Moonshine who?
  • Moonshine always brightens the night!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Prosecco.
  • Prosecco who?
  • Prosecco you out tonight?
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Cognac.
  • Cognac who?
  • Cognac to the good life!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Bellini.
  • Bellini who?
  • Bellini is ringing for another round!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Bubbly.
  • Bubbly who?
  • Bubbly is the best way to celebrate!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Screwdriver.
  • Screwdriver who?
  • Screwdriver into the weekend!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Kahlua.
  • Kahlua who?
  • Kahlua is my favorite nightcap!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Jägermeister.
  • Jägermeister who?
  • Jägermeister of the bar, please!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Pina colada.
  • Pina colada who?
  • Pina colada on the beach sounds perfect!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Mojito.
  • Mojito who?
  • Mojito your thing, let’s get minty fresh!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Grog.
  • Grog who?
  • Grog and a pirate’s life for me!
• Knock, knock.
  • Who’s there?
  • Cachaça.
  • Cachaça who?
  • Cachaça the spirit of Brazil!

Conclusion

In conclusion, 340+ Jokes And Puns About Drinking celebrates the universal joy found in humor and laughter surrounding the social ritual of drinking. From witty puns to rib-tickling jokes, this collection offers a refreshing blend of humor that resonates with anyone who enjoys a good laugh over a drink.

Whether you’re sharing these quips with friends at a pub, using them to break the ice at a gathering, or simply enjoying a moment of levity alone, these jokes remind us of the laughter that brings people together.

So, raise your glass and toast to the timeless joy of laughter and the camaraderie it fosters!