200+ Turtle Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Turtles are fascinating creatures that have captured the imaginations of people around the world for centuries. With their slow and steady pace, unique shells, and adorable faces, it’s no wonder that turtles inspire a plethora of puns, jokes, and one-liners. Whether you’re looking to tickle your funny bone or simply appreciate the clever wordplay, here are over 200 turtle-themed puns and jokes to brighten your day.

Table of Contents

Top Turtle Puns

Why did the turtle cross the road? To get to the shell station!
What do you call a turtle that’s taking up photography? A snapping turtle!
Did you hear about the turtle who went to school? He got shell-shocked!
How do turtles communicate with each other? By using shell phones!
What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine? A slowpoke!
Why was the turtle always so happy? Because he had a good time!
How do turtles like their eggs? Terrapin style!
What’s a turtle’s favourite dance? The slow waltz!
Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always hiding in their shells!
What did the turtle say to the rabbit? Slow and steady wins the race!
Why don’t turtles ever lend each other money? Because they’re afraid they won’t get it back, it’s always too slow!
What’s a turtle’s favorite kind of joke? Shell-carious ones!
How does a turtle make friends? They shell out compliments!
What do you call a turtle that’s an artist? A pain turtle!

Why don’t turtles ever go on roller coasters? Because they’re afraid of getting shell-shocked!
What’s a turtle’s Favorited kind of candy? Slow-pokes!
Why did the turtle become a chef? Because he wanted to make turtle soup!
What did the turtle say to the salad? Lettuce be friends!
How do turtles stay in touch with each other? They shell-berate birthdays!
What’s a turtle’s Favorited hobby? Playing shell games!
Why was the turtle always invited to parties? Because he was great at shell-rebating!
How do turtles like their pizza? Extra slow and with lots of toppings!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of music? Slow jams!
Why don’t turtles ever get into fights? Because they have too much self-control!
What do you call a turtle that’s a musician? A shellist!
Why was the turtle always so calm? Because he had a shellphone to relax with!
How does a turtle make his way through the jungle? Slowly but shell-ly!
What did one turtle say to the other? Let’s take it slow and steady!
Why don’t turtles ever make good secret agents? Because they’re always spotted!
How does a turtle get onto a tree? It grows there over time!
What did the turtle say to the comedian? You really crack me up!
Why was the turtle always so humble? Because he knew he was just a small fry in a big pond!
How does a turtle stay in shape? By doing shell-ups!
What’s a turtle’s favourite game show? Who Wants to be a Millionaire?
Why don’t turtles ever gamble? Because they prefer a slow and steady income!
What did the turtle say to the doctor? I’ve got a cold!
How does a turtle count money? Slowly but surely!
Why did the turtle become a lawyer? Because he was great at winning shell-ebrity cases!
What did the turtle say to the snail? Hey, you’re really moving at a snail’s pace!
How do turtles communicate during a race? They shell out encouragement!
Why did the turtle become an astronaut? Because he wanted to explore space at his own pace!
What’s a turtle’s favourite subject in school? Slow-culus!
Why don’t turtles ever get into arguments? Because they always shell out their differences!
What did the turtle say to the hare? You might be fast, but I’m shell-tastic!
How does a turtle apologise? Slowly and with a lot of shell-remorse!
Why did the turtle become a scientist? Because he wanted to study shell-evolution!
What do you call a turtle that’s a comedian? A stand-up shell!
How does a turtle send mail? With a shell-stamp!
Why did the turtle become a chef? Because he loved to cook slow and steady!
What’s a turtle’s favourite kind of ice cream? Slow churned!

Sea Turtle Puns

Why did the sea turtle refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of getting a bad hand!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite dessert? Slow-churned ice cream!
How does a sea turtle say goodbye? With a shell-abrasion!
What do you call a sea turtle with a map? Lost!
Why was the sea turtle so happy? Because he found his sea-legs!
What did the sea turtle say to the fish? Let’s shell-ebrate our friendship!
How do sea turtles navigate the ocean? With the help of their shell-phones!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get lost? Because they have excellent shell-navigation skills!
What did the sea turtle say to the beach? I’m sure glad to see you!
Why did the sea turtle become an actor? Because he wanted to star in his own shell-a!
How does a sea turtle catch a wave? Slowly but shell-y!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite kind of music? Beach tunes!
Why don’t sea turtles ever go on diets? Because they love their shell-fries too much!
What did the sea turtle say to the surfer? Hang ten, dude!
How does a sea turtle stay in shape? By swimming laps and doing shell-ups!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get lonely? Because they have plenty of shell-friends in the ocean!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite movie? The Shawshank Redemption!
Why did the sea turtle become a DJ? Because he loved to mix shell beats!
How do sea turtles communicate with each other? With shell-phones and shell-mail!
What did the sea turtle say to the starfish? You’re a star in my eyes!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get into arguments? Because they’re too busy enjoying the waves!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite holiday? Shell-oween!
Why did the sea turtle bring a ladder to the beach? Because he wanted to climb the shell-ter!
How do sea turtles celebrate their birthdays? With shell-ebrations under the sea!
What did the sea turtle say to the octopus? Stop being so shellfish!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get sunburned? Because they have built-in shell-protection!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite sport? Shell-fing!
How do sea turtles keep warm in the ocean? With their thick, shell-ulated coats!
Why did the sea turtle become a musician? Because he loved to play shell-o!
What did the sea turtle say to the beach ball? You’re always bouncing around like a beachy ball!
How do sea turtles organise their parties? With a shell-ebration committee!
What did the sea turtle say when he won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why don’t sea turtles ever worry about getting lost? Because they always follow their inner shell compass!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite book? Moby Dick – because it’s a whale of a tale!
Why did the sea turtle become a lifeguard? Because he wanted to shell-p keep others safe!
How do sea turtles navigate through coral reefs? With careful shell-election!
What did the sea turtle say to the ocean? Thanks for being so wavey!
Why did the sea turtle bring a suitcase to the beach? Because he was planning a shell-tastic vacation!
How do sea turtles show affection? With lots of shell hugs and kisses!
What did the sea turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-arious, I can’t stop laughing!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get lost in the dark? Because they always follow the moon’s shell-umination!
How does a sea turtle stay calm during a storm? By retreating into its shell and riding out the waves!
What did the sea turtle say to the seagull? Stop squawking and let’s go for a swim!
Why did the sea turtle become a teacher? Because he wanted to shell-p others learn about the wonders of the ocean!
How do sea turtles communicate with dolphins? With a shell-ular phone!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite bedtime story? The Tortoise and the Hare – it’s a classic tale of perseverance!
Why did the sea turtle join the choir? Because he had a shell of a voice!
How do sea turtles stay safe from predators? By blending into their surroundings with their shell camouflage!
What did the sea turtle say to the jellyfish? You’re so transparent – I can see right through you!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get tired of swimming? Because every stroke feels like a shell-ebration of life!

Cute Turtle Puns

What did the baby turtle say to its mother? I’ll always love you!
How does a turtle ask for a hug? Can I shell you?
Why did the turtle blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
How does a turtle relax? By taking selfies!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of bread? Pumper-nickle!
How does a turtle wish someone a happy birthday? With a shell-abrasion!
Why don’t turtles ever skip breakfast? Because they love their shell-os!
What’s a turtle’s favourite game? Hide and shell-seek!
How does a turtle flirt? With some smooth shell-duction!
What do you call a group of turtles playing music? A shell ensemble!
Why did the turtle become an artist? Because it loved to draw shell-scapes!
How does a turtle express excitement? With shell-shocked expressions!
What did the turtle say to its friend? You’re my shell-mate for life!
Why did the turtle bring a spoon to the beach? Because it wanted to dig for shell-treasures!
How does a turtle plan its day? With a shell-endar!
What’s a turtle’s favourite TV show? The Shell Housewives of the Ocean!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loves to shell-ebrate nature’s beauty!
How does a turtle get around town? By taking shell-ters!
What’s a turtle’s favourite colour? Shell pink!
Why did the turtle become a detective? Because it was great at shell-locking mysteries!
How does a turtle show appreciation? With shell-applause!
What’s a turtle’s favourite season? Shellebration!
Why did the turtle become a musician? Because it loved to play the shell-o!
How does a turtle make lemonade? With lots of shell-fresh lemons!
What did the turtle say to its crush? I’ve had a shell of a crush on you!
Why did the turtle become a teacher? Because it loved to shell out knowledge!
How does a turtle stay cool in the summer? By finding a shady shell-ter!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of fruit? Melon-shell!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the beach? Because it wanted to shell-ebrate its journey!
How does a turtle celebrate its birthday? With a shell-abrasion cake!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why don’t turtles ever worry about getting lost? Because they always follow their inner shell compass!
What’s a turtle’s favourite book? Moby Dick – because it’s a whale of a tale!
Why did the turtle become a lifeguard? Because he wanted to shell-p keep others safe!
How do sea turtles navigate through coral reefs? With careful shell-election!
What did the sea turtle say to the ocean? Thanks for being so wavey!
Why did the sea turtle bring a suitcase to the beach? Because he was planning a shell-tastic vacation!
How do sea turtles show affection? With lots of shell hugs and kisses!
What did the sea turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-arious, I can’t stop laughing!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get lost in the dark? Because they always follow the moon’s shell-umination!
How does a sea turtle stay calm during a storm? By retreating into its shell and riding out the waves!
What did the sea turtle say to the seagull? Stop squawking and let’s go for a swim!
Why did the sea turtle become a teacher? Because he wanted to shell-p others learn about the wonders of the ocean!
How do sea turtles communicate with dolphins? With a shell-ular phone!
What’s a sea turtle’s favourite bedtime story? The Tortoise and the Hare – it’s a classic tale of perseverance!
Why did the sea turtle join the choir? Because he had a shell of a voice!
How do sea turtles stay safe from predators? By blending into their surroundings with their shell camouflage!
What did the sea turtle say to the jellyfish? You’re so transparent – I can see right through you!
Why don’t sea turtles ever get tired of swimming? Because every stroke feels like a shell-ebration of life!
How does a turtle plan its day? With a shell-endar!

Funny Turtle Puns

Why did the turtle go to the party? To shell-ebrate!
What do you call a turtle with a large vocabulary? A thesaurus!
How do turtles communicate underwater? With shell phones!
Why was the turtle kicked out of the comedy club? Because he kept making shell-arious jokes!
What did the turtle say to the comedian? You crack me up!
How does a turtle keep track of its expenses? With a shell-tally book!
Why was the turtle so good at maths? Because it had a hard shell for numbers!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of music? Slow jams!
How do turtles prefer to travel? By shell-elevator!
Why did the turtle bring a suitcase to the party? Because it was ready to shell-ebrate!
What do you call a turtle with a high IQ? A brainy-shell!
Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they always shell out in the open!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of soup? Slow-cooked!
How does a turtle beat its opponent in a game? By shell-shocking them!
Why did the turtle refuse to share its food? Because it was shellfish!
What did the turtle say to the rock? You make a great shell-ter!
How do turtles stay in shape? With shell-lates!
What’s a turtle’s favourite dessert? Tiramisu-shell!
Why did the turtle blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of music? Shell-a!
How do turtles prefer to pay for things? With shell credit cards!
Why don’t turtles ever get lonely? Because they carry their homes on their backs!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of bread? Pumper-nickel!
How do turtles enjoy their coffee? Slow-brewed!
Why don’t turtles ever win arguments? Because they take too long to shell out their points!
What did the turtle say to the salad? Lettuce be friends!
Why did the turtle become an architect? Because it loved designing shell-ters!
How do turtles make phone calls? With cellular devices!
What’s a turtle’s favourite subject in school? History – they’ve been around for ages!
Why don’t turtles ever play cards? Because they’re afraid of getting a bad hand!
How does a turtle send emails? With a shell server!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loved to see things grow slow and steady!
What did the turtle say to the hare? You might be fast, but I’m shell-tastic!
How do turtles get around town? By taking shell-ters!
Why was the turtle always invited to parties? Because it was great at shell-ebrating!
What did the turtle say to the mirror? Nice shell-fie!
How does a turtle stay in shape? By doing shell-ups!
Why did the turtle become a teacher? Because it wanted to shell-p others learn!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of cookie? Snickerdoodle – it’s slow to eat!
Why was the turtle always so calm? Because it had a shell-phone to relax with!
How do turtles prefer to communicate? Shell-mail!
Why don’t turtles ever make good spies? Because they’re always spotted!
What did the turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-arious, I can’t stop laughing!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
How does a turtle stay in touch with friends? With shell-ebratory gatherings!
What’s a turtle’s favourite TV show? The Shell Housewives of the Ocean!
Why did the turtle become a chef? Because it loved to shell-ebrate with food!
How do turtles keep track of time? With shell-egant watches!
Why did the turtle go to school? To get a shell-education!
How do turtles stay safe from predators? By hiding in their shells when danger approaches!

Best Turtle Jokes And One-Liners

What’s a turtle’s favourite movie? The Shawshank Redemption!
How does a turtle make his way through the jungle? Slowly but shell-ly!
Why did the turtle cross the road? To prove he wasn’t chicken!
What did one turtle say to the other? Let’s take it slow and steady!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of music? Slow jams!
Why did the turtle become an astronaut? Because he wanted to explore space at his own pace!
How does a turtle apologise? Slowly and with a lot of shell-remorse!
What did the turtle say to the hare? You might be fast, but I’m shell-tastic!
How does a turtle send mail? With a shell-stamp!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of ice cream? Slow churned!
Why don’t turtles ever get into fights? Because they have too much self-control!
What did the turtle say to the comedian? You really crack me up!
How does a turtle stay in shape? By doing shell-ups!
What did the turtle say to the doctor? I’ve got a cold!
Why did the turtle bring string to the party? Because he wanted to have a shell of a time!
How does a turtle tell time? With a shell clock!
What did the turtle say when it crossed the finish line? I shell-gate to inform you, but I won!
Why did the turtle become a musician? Because he loved to play the shell-o!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of bread? Pumper-nickle!
How does a turtle express excitement? With shell-shocked expressions!
Why did the turtle become a lifeguard? Because he wanted to shell-p keep others safe!
What did the turtle say to its crush? I’ve had a shell of a crush on you!
How does a turtle plan its day? With a shell-endar!
What’s a turtle’s favourite TV show? The Shell Housewives of the Ocean!
Why don’t turtles ever lend each other money? Because they’re afraid they won’t get it back, it’s always too slow!
What did the turtle say to the rabbit? Slow and steady wins the race!
How does a turtle make friends? They shell out compliments!
What do you call a turtle that’s an artist? A pain turtle!
How does a turtle ask for a hug? Can I shell you?
Why don’t turtles ever skip breakfast? Because they love their shell-os!
What’s a turtle’s favorite game? Hide and shell-seek!
Why did the turtle become an actor? Because it wanted to star in its own shell-a!
What’s a turtle’s favorite dance? The slow waltz!
How does a turtle flirt? With some smooth shell-suction!
Why don’t turtles ever play hide and seek? Because they’re always hiding in their shells!
What did the baby turtle say to its mother? I’ll always love you!
Why did the turtle blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
What’s a turtle’s favorite color? Shell pink!
How does a turtle wish someone a happy birthday? With a shell-abrasion!
Why did the turtle bring a spoon to the beach? Because it wanted to dig for shell-treasures!
What did the turtle say to its friend? You’re my shell-mate for life!
How does a turtle relax? By taking selfies!
What’s a turtle’s favorite type of candy? Slow-pokes!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loves to shell-berate nature’s beauty!
How does a turtle stay cool in the summer? By finding a shady shell-yer!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why don’t turtles ever worry about getting lost? Because they always follow their inner shell compass!
What’s a turtle’s favorite book? Toby Dick – because it’s a whale of a tale!
How does a turtle make lemonade? With lots of shell-fresh lemons!
What did the turtle say to its crush? You really shell-elegant!

Read More: Tiger Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Read More: Owl Puns, Jokes And One-Liners

Puns about Turtles

Why did the turtle go to school? Because it wanted to shell-earn!
How does a turtle communicate? With its shell-phone!
What’s a turtle’s favorite snack? Shell-fries!
Why don’t turtles ever get lost? Because they follow their inner shell compass!
How do turtles stay in shape? By doing shell-ups!
What did the turtle say to its friend? You’re my shell-mate!
Why did the turtle become a comedian? Because it had a shell of a sense of humor!
How does a turtle take photos? With its shell-fire stick!
Why don’t turtles ever win races? Because they take it slow and steady!
What’s a turtle’s Favorited TV show? The Shell Housewives of the Ocean!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loved to see things grow slow and steady!
How does a turtle keep track of time? With its shell-gnat watch!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the beach? Because it wanted to shell-berate its journey!
How does a turtle show affection? With lots of shell hugs and kisses!
What did the turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-various, I can’t stop laughing!
Why did the turtle become an architect? Because it loved designing shell-tiers!
How does a turtle celebrate its birthday? With a shell-abrasion cake!
What’s a turtle’s favorite type of music? Shell-a!
Why don’t turtles ever worry about getting lost? Because they always follow their inner shell compass!
How does a turtle send emails? With a shell server!
What did the turtle say to the starfish? You’re a star in my eyes!
Why did the turtle bring a suitcase to the beach? Because it was planning a shell-static vacation!
How does a turtle express excitement? With shell-shocked expressions!
What did the turtle say to its friend? You’re my shell-mate for life!
Why did the turtle become an architect? Because it loved designing shell-tees!
How does a turtle get around town? By taking shell-tees!
What’s a turtle’s favorite type of music? Shell-a!
How does a turtle send emails? With a shell server!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loved to see things grow slow and steady!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the beach? Because it wanted to shell-berate its journey!
How does a turtle show affection? With lots of shell hugs and kisses!
What did the turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-A pain turtle!, I can’t stop laughing!
Why did the turtle become an architect? Because it loved designing shell-terse!
How does a turtle celebrate its birthday? With a shell-abrasion cake!
What’s a turtle’s favorite type of music? Shell-a!
How does a turtle send emails? With a shell server!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loved to see things grow slow and steady!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the beach? Because it wanted to shell-ebrate its journey!
How does a turtle show affection? With lots of shell hugs and kisses!
What did the turtle say to the crab? You’re so shell-arious, I can’t stop laughing!
Why did the turtle become an architect? Because it loved designing shell-ters!
How does a turtle celebrate its birthday? With a shell-abrasion cake!
What’s a turtle’s favourite type of music? Shell-a!
How does a turtle send emails? With a shell server!
Why did the turtle become a gardener? Because it loved to see things grow slow and steady!
What did the turtle say when it won the race? I’m shell-shocked!
Why did the turtle bring a map to the beach? Because it wanted to shell-berate its journey!

Final words

If you’re a fan of hum-our and love turtles, this article is a shell of a good time! With over 200 turtle puns, jokes, and one-liners, it’s a delightful collection that will leave you laughing and appreciating the clever wordplay. Whether you’re a tortoise enthusiast or just looking for a good chuckle, these puns provide a light-heated and enjoyable read. Dive into the world of turtle humor and let these puns tickle your funny bone – it’s a guaranteed way to add some fun to your day!

Sarah Jacobs

Hi there! I’m Sarah Jacobs a writer who loves sprinkling humor into people’s lives with puns. Through my words, I aim to bring smiles and laughter to those who read them.