140+ Funny Swimming Puns, Jokes And One-Liners I 2024

Swimming is not only a fantastic form of exercise but also a source of endless entertainment and humor. Whether you’re a seasoned swimmer or just dipping your toes in the water, you’ll appreciate these funny swimming puns, jokes, and one-liners that are sure to make a splash!

Top Swimming Puns

  • “Why did the swimmer bring string to the pool? To tie up the competition!
  • What do you call a fish who is a great dancer? A pirouette-a-fish!
  • Why was the swimmer so bad at math? Because he kept drowning in his problems!
  • Did you hear about the swimmer who went broke? He had too much sinking’ funds!
  • How do swimmers clean themselves? They take a bath-tub!
  • What do you call a swimming race between two birds? A backstroke!
  • Why don’t swimmers ever get lost? Because they always find their way stroke by stroke!
  • What do you get when you cross a pool with a math book? A dive-in-ity!
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool? They kept dropping their trunks!
  • How do you make a waterbed more bouncy? Add spring water!
  • Why did the tomato turn red while swimming? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What do you call a stolen swimming pool? A “missing person” report!
What do you call a stolen swimming pool
What do you call a stolen swimming pool
  • Why don’t oysters share their pearls while swimming? Because they’re shellfish!
  • What do you call a group of musical swimmers? An orchestra-station!
  • Why did the bicycle go to swimming practice? I wanted to become a two-tire swimmer!
  • Why did the chicken join the swim team? It wanted to test its backstroke!
  • What do you call a swimming pool full of cats? A purr-culator!
  • How do you know if a swimmer is flirting with you? They give you a butterfly kiss!
  • What do you call a ghostly swimmer? A poltergeist!
  • Why was the swimmer always so calm? Because he knew how to go with the flow!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite movie? “The Splash”!
  • Why did the computer go for a swim? It had a byte!
  • How do swimmers communicate underwater? They drop a sea-line!
  • Why did the tomato go to swim practice? It wanted ketchup on its strokes!
  • How do you make a waterbed more exciting? Add sharks!
  • What do you call a nervous swimmer? A little fishy!
  • Why did the math book go to swimming practice? It heard it could improve its decimals!

Funny Swimming Puns

  • Why did the swimmer refuse to wear glasses in the pool? They didn’t want to be framed!
  • What do you call a snowman at the beach? A puddle!
  • How do you catch a squirrel underwater? Dive in and act like a nut!
  • What do you call a pool party for ghosts? A dead man’s float!
  • Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
  • How do you make a waterbed laugh? Tickle its seas!
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool? They kept dropping their trunks!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of music? Poolka!
  • How do you catch a squid? Have someone ink-tercept it!
  • Why did the grape stop swimming? It ran out of juice!
  • What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!
  • Why do sharks only swim in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
  • Why was the math book sad at the pool? It had too many problems!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite TV show? “Baywatch”!
What's a swimmer's favorite TV show
  • Why did the lifeguard go to school? To improve their pool-cy skills!
  • How do you throw a space party? You planet!
  • Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
  • Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  • What do you call a cold dog at the beach? A chili dog!
  • Why was the ocean always in trouble? It kept getting into deep water!
  • How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickling its balls!

Best Jokes About Swimming

  • “Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? Because she heard the water was 12 feet deep!
  • Why don’t oysters share their pearls while swimming? Because they’re shellfish!
  • What do you call a group of musical swimmers? An orchestra-stration!
  • Why did the chicken join the swim team? It wanted to test its backstroke!
  • What do you call a swimming pool full of cats? A purr-culator!
  • Why did the swimmer bring string to the pool? To tie up the competition!
  • What do you call a stolen swimming pool? A “missing person” report!
  • Why did the bicycle go to swimming practice? I wanted to become a two-tire swimmer!
  • How do you organize a pool party for astronauts? You planet!
  • Why did the ghost go swimming? Because it wanted to see if it could float!
  • Why did the tomato go to swim practice? It wanted ketchup on its strokes!
  • How do you make a waterbed more exciting? Add sharks!
  • What did the ocean say to the beach? Nothing, it just waved!
  • Why did the math book go to swimming practice? It heard it could improve its decimals!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of movie? A splash hit!
  • Why did the lifeguard go to school? To improve their pool-cy skills!
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
  • What did the beach say to the tide when it came in? Long time no sea!
  • Why was the ocean always in trouble? It kept getting into deep water!
  • How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickling its balls!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite type of math? Add and swim!
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephant out of the pool? It couldn’t keep its trunk above water!
  • What do you call a cold dog at the beach? A chili dog!
What do you call a cold dog at the beach? A chili dog!
  • Why don’t skeletons go swimming? They don’t have the guts!
  • How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!
  • Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
  • What did the fish say when it hit the wall? Damn!
  • Why did the lifeguard go to art school? To learn how to draw the perfect lifesaver!
  • How do you catch a fish? With a net that works!”

Read More:  Racing Puns – Jokes And One-Liners I 2024

Funny Puns About Swimming

  • Why did the swimmer refuse to wear glasses in the pool? They didn’t want to be framed!
  • What do you call a snowman at the beach? A puddle!
  • How do you catch a squirrel underwater? Dive in and act like a nut!
  • Why don’t skeletons go swimming? They’re afraid of their bones getting waterlogged!
  • What do you call a pool party for ghosts? A dead man’s float!
  • Why don’t fish play basketball? They’re afraid of the net!
  • How do you make a waterbed laugh? Tickle its seas!
How do you make a waterbed laugh
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite kind of music? Poolka!
  • How do you catch a squid? Have someone ink-tercept it!
  • Why did the grape stop swimming? It ran out of juice!
  • What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, it just waved!
  • Why do sharks only swim in saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
  • What did the beach say as the tide came in? Long time no sea!
  • Why don’t seagulls fly over the bay? Because then they’d be bagels!
  • Why did the math book feel sad at the pool? It had too many problems!
  • How do you throw a space party? You planet!
  • Why did the fish blush? Because it saw the ocean’s bottom!
  • What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved!
  • Why don’t sharks attack lawyers? Professional courtesy!
  • Why did the fish stop schooling? It got expelled!
  • How do you make holy water? Boil the hell out of it!
  • What do you call a swimmer who can’t stop sneezing? Achoo-per!
  • Why did the lifeguard go to school? To improve their pool-cy skills!
  • How do you make a waterbed bouncier? Add spring water!
  • What’s a swimmer’s favorite TV show? “Baywatch”!
  • Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? Because she heard the water was 12 feet deep!
  • How do you know if a swimmer is flirting with you? They give you a butterfly kiss!
  • Why did the tomato turn red while swimming? Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What do you call a stolen swimming pool? A “missing person” report!

Swimming One-Liners

  • “Swimming: the only sport where peeing in the pool is socially acceptable!
  • The best way to get a beach body? Have a body and go to the beach!
  • I don’t always swim, but when I do, I prefer to do it underwater.
  • Swimming: the perfect combination of exercise and avoiding all contact with people!
  • I’m not lazy, I’m just on energy-saving mode until the water gets warmer.
  • Why did the swimmer bring a towel to the pool? To have a dry sense of humor!
  • My swimming style? Doggy paddle with a touch of elegance!
  • I swim because punching people is frowned upon.
  • Water you are waiting for? Let’s dive in!
  • My favorite stroke? Backstroke, because it’s like swimming in a cozy waterbed.
  • I swim like a fish – if the fish were clumsy and out of breath!
  • Swimming is my therapy. Chlorine is my cologne!
  • My swimming skills are so-so. Sometimes I float, sometimes I sink – it’s a toss-up!
  • Why did the lifeguard kick the elephants out of the pool? They kept dropping their trunks!
  • Water you doing this weekend? Oh, just going with the flow.”
  • Why was the swimmer always calm? Because they knew how to stay afloat!
  • I’m not a strong swimmer, but I’m pretty good at treading water in conversations.
  • Swimming: where’s the water you’re waiting for?’ turns into ‘water you dreading, for?’
  • My swimming skills are so advanced, I can do the backstroke with my eyes closed… and still hit the lane ropes.
  • The lifeguard asked me to stop swimming in circles. Apparently, it was making the other swimmers dizzy.
  • I like to think of myself as a pool philosopher. I do my deepest thinking in the shallow end.
  • Why did the swimmer refuse to listen to music while swimming? They didn’t want to drown out the sounds of their own strokes.
  • I tried to organize a swimming race, but it didn’t go well. It was all sink or swim, and most chose to sink.
  • I’m not a morning person, but I’m always up for a morning swim. There’s something refreshing about starting the day by immersing yourself in water.
  • I always bring goggles to the pool. Can’t have my vision blurred while I’m trying to make a splash!
  • Why don’t sharks attack swimmers? They’re afraid of the sharp wit and clever comebacks.
  • Swimming: the sport where you can make waves without saying a word.
  • I wanted to join the synchronized swimming team, but I realized I couldn’t even synchronize my alarm clock.
  • Why did the swimmer bring a pencil to the pool? To draw their own lane!
  • My swimming coach says I have a lot of potential. I think she’s just trying to buoy my confidence.
  • I don’t need a GPS when swimming. I have an innate sense of direction towards the nearest snack bar.
  • I told my friends I’m training for a triathlon. They didn’t believe me until they saw me swimming laps… in the kiddie pool.
  • I used to think swimming was easy until I tried the butterfly stroke. Now I understand the term ‘butterfly effect’ – chaos in motion.
I used to think swimming was easy until I tried the butterfly stroke.
  • Why did the swimmer bring a ladder to the pool? They wanted to test the depths of their dedication!
  • I’m not afraid of deep water. I just prefer to keep things shallow… like my conversations.”

Conclusion

In conclusion, swimming is not just a sport but a source of endless amusement. From puns that make you groan to jokes that leave you in stitches, there’s something for everyone to enjoy. So next time you’re at the pool, remember to dive into the fun and make a splash with these hilarious swimming puns, jokes, and one-liners.

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